Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Oh to Sleep...

Sunday evenings we have a gathering with seven couples and a half (who is actively seeking his other half) from four different churches. It is a Bible study, discussion group, a place to pour out your anguish, joy, sadness, prayer request...and we have jelled as a group.

I’ve been having trouble sleeping for years. More specifically, I have trouble sleeping when I have to get up early, like between 5–6 am. In such times I do not sleep at all or I sleep in such manner I wake up exhausted. So our Sunday group prayed for me. I went home, took 20 mg of melatonin (sleeping supplement) and really hoped that this time I would go to sleep. The next day was a big day. I had to have my rest.

My alarm went off at 5:30 am, and I had not rested all night. Exhaustion filled my bones even before the day started. So my conversation with the Lord went something like this: “Lord, I need Your alertness, Your keen ability to function as a pharmacist, Your stamina, and Your speaking through me” ...because I slur and do not make any sense when I am exhausted. And a good portion of my work is talking to patients, nurses, and insurance people.... “Most of all please make the workload manageable during my thirteen hour shift. It is snowing now..I pray my three hour round trip commute will be safe.”

As I was driving home at 10 pm that night, I realized I truly experienced Him as my upholder in every aspect. I also heard within that my inability to sleep will not last.

I remembered when I was agonizing about not being able to sell our Chicago home, the Lord told me it will be sold. I still agonized for three more years until it sold.

I remembered when I spent most of my waking hours in bed because of severe CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). I wanted to die rather than live like a vegetable. God told me I would get well. It was three more years before my recovery.

So this time I will praise my God who sustains me and wait for His complete restoration of my sleeping ability. Meanwhile He is my strength.