Where am I going?

I am 63 years old. Where have time gone! Feeling vanity of living.

I am sitting on the couch wondering what I should do! It seems like my life is in a constant pressure to accomplish, to achieve, and to earn. I have no desire to go back to pharmacy. So what can I do? I studied functional medicine. As I am taking steps to get started, I feel more lost than ever.

Tom tells me that I need to spend 2 hours a day to water color. That actually will be my whole day when I include cooking, shopping, and house upkeep.

Lately I have been feeling that I am losing my memory even from day to day. I seem to forget things constantly all the time.

I fear being lost into the oblivion. To not pursue into some goal is to be lost. To not have an income feels like I am lost, falling into the oblivion.